Monday, October 6, 2008

Girl In the Mirror. Not My Reflection, But Yours

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Another recommended read is "Girl in the Mirror: Mothers and Daughters in the Years of Adolescence," by Nancy Snyderman.

In the book Nancy warned us, “In a society that tends to sing the praises of instant gratification, it’s important that we encourage our girls to take the long view; we need to foster their understanding that certain goals will take time and effort to achieve.”

Within the realm of striving for goals, parents play a key role in demonstrating how best to adept to failure or setbacks, which will happen.

There's a lesson here for our children. If you go for the gold and win fourth, yes you are going to be sad and dejected. You might even cry. Eventually the disappointment might turn to anger. That is perfectly normal. Most of us, when children, were told to pick ourselves back up and try it again.

And it’s here where a role model can make a difference. Teach your children the best path is forward. Sure it’s okay and appropriate to stop, cry and yell. The world is not a fair place. But after the fit is thrown it’s all about picking yourself up, wiping off the dirt and getting back on track. It's all about understanding certain goals will take time and effort and will, more times than not, include setbacks.