Have You Watched MTV Lately?

When I interviewed sixth-grade girls for my upcoming book Living Happily Ever After Today, MTV topped their favorite TV viewing.

I decided to tune in. During lunch one day, I took the opportunity to see what was playing.

It was a show called Parental Control. On this show parents picked dates for their young adult children. The premise: parents who don’t like the current boy or girlfriend use the show to introduce their child to new people. Each parent gets to pick one date from a pool of applicants. The adult ‘child’ goes on two dates that are videotaped while the parents and significant other watch a live feed of the date and exchange smack.

Of course there are commercials throughout the program. In one commercial girls age 8 to 10 were playing outdoor games.

“You can participate, too!” caught my attention. The spot was advertising Nickelodeon. Why would Nickelodeon, a kid’s network, have an ad on MTV? To find out, I did what I always do. I googled it.

What I found out is disturbing. MTV is viewed in over 412 million households worldwide. Nielsen Ratings report that MTV is in 95,000,000+ homes in the United States. While much of the program is about young adults, some sources report the target market is the 12-17 age range. (I also discovered that Nickelodeon is in the MTV Network, Viacom.)

Have you watched MTV lately?

Time Warner Cable who is pitching MTV tells us, “For what’s happening and what’s next in music and popular culture young adults turn to MTV to get the answers. From fashion, lifestyle and sports to attitudes, politics and trends, only MTV offers what’s consistently fresh, honest and groundbreaking.”

Here’s the bad news, folks. Not only young adults turn to MTV for current trends. So do 10, 11 and 12 year olds.

Again, I want to know. Have you watched MTV lately?

In the past I have mentioned My Super Sweet 16, a show featuring spoiled girls and boys celebrating their 16th birthdays in a way-over-the-top fashion. And let’s not forget A Shot of Love, another favorite of 6th graders, which had two seasons of Tela Tequila trying to find love with either a boy or a girl. Then there is Real Life a show “featuring real people and the unusual subcultures they inhabit,” as it is billed by MTV. And Engaged and Underaged?—tagged as “Who cares if people think it’s too soon to get married?”

Back to Parental Control. The show appeared scripted, which means the responses and reactions are probably exaggerated. The parents and children do not play nice. Nasty boyfriends treat their girlfriends with disrespect. Domineering girlfriends keep their men in line. Most troubling is how the boy or girlfriend acts toward the parents while watching the dates. In one episode, the girlfriend told the parents to “Shut the ‘bleep’ up.” A little later she said, “I have something to say to both of you.” They looked and she proudly made a rude gesture. Mom and Dad weren’t playing nice either. They both had mean things to say, as did the other participants.

When did it become okay to abdicate the defining of our cultural mores to our entertainment industry?

Walking the line between censorship and upholding values you believe in is the task of responsible parenting. Our role tests us every time our children tune into the latest MTV hijinks or current entertainment craze. Our first task is to know what our kids are watching, which means having your television in the family room. Then you can decide if you want to invite MTV to be the nightly guest lecturer in your home.

Allyn Evans
http://www.allynevans.com/

info at allynevans.com

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The Alert Parent Resource Page

For Tweens and Teens Conference workshop participants...

RESOURCES and TOOLS

Parenting Online Guide by WiredKids.org
http://wiredkids.org/resources/documents/pdf/parentingonline.pdf

Definitions of Technology Terms Used
http://www.netsmartz.org/safety/definitions.htm

Email for kids: http://www.gmail.com/For instructions on signing up for gmail
http://thealertparent.blogspot.com/2008/10/gmail-instructions.html

Need help counteracting a cyberbully? Visit: http://www.wiredkids.org/
If you need more than on-line help, call the hotline. For more info about their services, visit: http://www.wiredsafety.org/911/index.html

For more Short Message Service lingo, visit: http://www.smsslang.com/

Reviews of best parental control software products:
http://parental-control-software.topchoicereviews.com/software.topchoicereviews.com/

Signing up for Google Alerts: http://www.google.com/. For instructions on how to set up, visit: http://thealertparent.blogspot.com/2008/03/using-google-alerts-to-track-your-child.html

Search engines for kids: http://www.askkids.org/, http://www.kidsclick.org/, and http://kids.yahoo.com/

National Do Not Call List: https://www.donotcall.gov/register/Reg.aspx

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http://www.allynevans.blogspot.com/

The Light Bulb Lesson

Have you seen My Super Sweet 16, an MTV program on the “there’s-no-good-reason-for-your-child-to-watch-this” list? The show features spoiled girls and boys celebrating their 16th birthdays in a way over-the-top fashion.

In one show Priscilla goes to the dentist to remove her braces before the big event to the tune of $1,000, only to have to turn around and put them back on again the following week. Another soon-to-be 16-year-old is allotted a $300,000 budget for her party, while yet another treks across the country to purchase the perfect party dress for $8,200. And what about the girl who hails from Memphis whose parents gave her a custom $125,000+ Hummer. She wants to add a chandelier.

Then comes Exiled, one of the few programs on MTV that is actually good for your children to see. The fed-up parents of the “Sweet 16-ers” decide to send their spoiled divas and dandies to remote parts of the world—places like the Arctic Circle, the Andes mountains and the jungles of the Amazon—to teach them a lesson or two.

In a recent episode, Bjorn enters his home after returning from another shopping spree at the mall. What Bjorn doesn’t know is that his parents, Carlton and Maureen, are about to ship him off to the hot desert sands of Morocco to live with a family from the Berber tribe. Carlton and Maureen say things like, “My son has no idea about the value of money.” And, “He feels entitled to everything. He doesn’t know how do a full day’s work.”

The show is painful to watch. Bjorn complains and whines. He begs off doing chores he feels are “too dirty” and refuses to help gather food for supper. By the week’s end, Bjorn seems to be learning something. He says, “Getting paid for my hard work feels pretty amazing.” A little later he writes in his diary, “Shopping is more fun using the money I earned myself.” He then adds, “Can’t believe I am saying that.”

This show makes me wonder about the lessons I am teaching my daughter. We often talk about the value of money and the need to “take care of our property.” The other day after wearing a new jacket only one time, she lost it. “If you don’t find it by Friday, you’ll have to use your savings to purchase a new one,” I told her. I figured this was the best way to teach the lesson. The show Exiled confirmed my hunch.

Not too long ago we had another challenge and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. Addy never remembered to close her closet door. You might be thinking “So what?” What you don’t know is that when the closet door is open, the light stays on. When the light stays on 24/7 it has a faster burn-out rate. Changing the light bulb requires effort— a ladder and tools to fetch, as well as removing a globe attached by inconvenient screws, then reversing the process once the bulb's in place.

I hated nagging, so I finally told her, “The next time your closet light goes off, you’re changing it.”

“Sure,” she said, not at all concerned.

I stopped harping about the door, but I wanted that light to go out—the sooner the better!

Finally it did. I helped Addy gather everything she needed. She had to carry the ladder up the stairs, climb up it, use the tools. It took her about twenty minutes to replace the bulb and put everything away, including hauling the ladder back down the stairs.

“I didn’t know it was so complicated,” Addy said. “I thought you just screwed a light bulb in and that was it.”

Being responsible for the consequences of your actions is an important thing to learn. I think the best reality training begins at home, a point the parents of the Sweet 16-ers just haven’t gotten yet. By making sure Addy knows how the world works in her home, we can use our travel money to expand her life experience rather than squander it on remedial training.

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http://www.allynevans.blogspot.com/

Have a question or issue you want investigated, please email me! You or your issue might be the next column topic!

Have You Seen MTV Lately?

There will be much more written on this subject. I promise. MTV is not what it used to be. I started watching the cable channel at its inception. Oh yes, they mostly played music videos. Today's MTV is different.

Today's MTV is all about the reality TV shows. A recent show featured Tila Tequila (who holds bragging rights for having the biggest MySpace.com audience at one time) and her search for a mate. What viewers didn't learn until after the show debuted was that Tila is bi-sexual. Her prospects on the show included boys and girls and we, the viewing audience, got to see it all. In the end, she selected a male candidate to be her beau.

One afternoon, I was in the car with a friend and our three children. I was whispering to her about the show. She had no idea and I knew her 12-year-old daughter was a regular viewer of MTV. Turns out her 10-year-old son was listening to us, "Oh yes, I've seen that show. She kissed girls and boys. They swam in a giant champagne glass. Yuck. Gross." She had no idea that her son also watched.

All I can say, Moms, is that information is power. Whether you choose to ban it, block it, share your disapproval or watch it with your child (to help explain or negate the impact), knowing gives you the power of choice.

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The Alert Parent Workshop Resources for Parents

The Alert Parent Resource Page for workshop participants.



RESOURCES and TOOLS Parenting Online Guide by WiredKids.orghttp://wiredkids.org/resources/documents/pdf/parentingonline.pdf

Another source for Internet safety is: http://www.connectsafely.org/

If you need basic definitions of technology terms used, the following site is a good starting point: http://www.netsmartz.org/safety/definitions.htm

Want to learn more about cell phones and how to monitor them, you have several options. The cell phones being offered by Leapfrog and others seem to be going away. Instead cell phone service providers are offering new and improved parental control services. For example, AT&T offers Smart Limits and T-Mobile offers Family Allowances. If you have a different provider, contact them to see what they are currently offering. You might be pleasantly surprised!

Of all the options I studied...one of my favorite finds is a cell phone monitoring program called Radar. It's inexpensive ($4.95 for one child and $14.95 for a family plan). To find out more about the product visit: http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/. They have a limited 30-day free trial offer running now. Call them! They are very nice and will answer all your questions. :)

For a copy of a Cell Phone Parent/Child Agreement, visit another post on my blog. I suggest you copy and paste the material in a Word document. If you having trouble with formatting, please email me. I'll be glad to send you a copy of via email!

For an Internet User Agreement between parents and children, please visit WiredKids.org.

Email for kids: http://www.gmail.com/
For instructions on signing up for gmail and to learn more about it, visit:
http://thealertparent.blogspot.com/2008/10/gmail-instructions.html

Need help counteracting a cyberbully? Visit: http://www.wiredkids.org/

If you need more than on-line help, call the hotline. For more info about their services, visit: http://www.wiredsafety.org/911/index.html

For more Short Message Service lingo (you know, slang used for texting like LOL, BRB or A/S/L), visit: http://www.smsslang.com/

Reviews of best parental control software products for computers:
http://parental-control-software.topchoicereviews.com/

To sign up for Google Alerts: http://www.google.com/. Why would you do this? It's because you can get an email every time your children's names or private information show up on Google. For instructions on how to set up, visit: http://thealertparent.blogspot.com/2008/03/using-google-alerts-to-track-your-child.html

There are search engines designed specifically for kids. Don't start them with Google. Instead check out: http://www.askkids.com/, http://www.kidsclick.org/, and http://kids.yahoo.com/

Some basic tips for Internet use:
1. Don't put a computer with Internet access in a private room.
2. Set limits on usage.
3. Talk to your child about appropriate sites and actions on the Internet.
4. Think twice about giving permission for children to have a Facebook or MySpace (or similar page). Read my article about this subject for more information.
5. Put off giving permission to chat on line for a very long time! For more info about chatting online and Instant Messaging, visit Wiredsafety.org.

To get your cell phone (and private land line too) off lists of telemarketers, you can visit the

National Do Not Call List: https://www.donotcall.gov/register/Reg.aspx. Please note: This list will not help you stop telemarketers who have already found your cell phone number.

If you have a child who downloads music or creates videos online, read this article about copyright laws.

Have questions or an issue you'd like investigated, email me! We love to hear from readers.
http://www.allynevans.com/
http://www.allynevans.blogspot.com/